Computers
- Computer: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
- “…File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)”
- A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
- A computer is like an Old Testament god – lots of rules and no mercy.
- A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
- A computer’s attention span is as long as its power cord.
- A feature is a bug with seniority.
- Any nitwit can understand computers. Many do.
- Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.
- For some of us, reading the manual is conceding defeat.
- Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
- He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
- I had a life once… now I have a computer and broadband.
- I haven’t lost my mind. I have a back-up somewhere.
- If at first you don’t succeed, call it Version 1.0.
- It looks like, very soon, everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame.
- It was typical for programmers to shorten ‘The Year 2000 Problem’ to ‘Y2K’. It was exactly this kind of thinking that created the problem in the first place.
- Multi-tasking: Screwing everything up simultaneously.
- My computer NEVER cras…
- Real men don’t use backups. They post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies.
- Real programmers don’t document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
- The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
- The only truly secure computer is one buried in concrete, with the power turned off and the network cable cut.
- To err is human… to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human. It is downright natural.
- When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
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